When Pride Is Positive
Today marks the start of my 4th week in school and about a month and a half since I moved back to New York City. It's been a fast-paced few weeks - the major reason I haven't written in so long - and school & life have been going really well! A quick catch-up on what's been up in my life:
- I started school. Holy cow, it's amazing, and the people in my cohort are all incredible. I've never attached myself to a group so quickly.
- I got another job.
Woo! Make that money.
- I signed a lease for an apartment.
With 2 AMAZING ladies. I move in the next few weeks. The apartment is a dream. I can't wait.
- I updated my headshots.
Shirin Tinati is the best around. She has provided photographic proof that brunettes can have just as much fun as blondes. Check her out: http://www.shirintinati.com/
- Friends!
I've been able to catch-up with so many amazing people over the past few weeks! Lots of adult beverages and brunches. Lol. So glad to share this city with so many people I care about.
- ALL. THE. BLACK. CLOTHES. (aka My mother's greatest dream.)
I've worn more black clothes in consecutive days than I can ever remember doing in my life. Ever. This is a big deal, guys. I already liked black clothes, but now that I have to wear them a lot for school, I feel the need for bright, bright colors! Haha. #peoplechange
- Coffee. But still caffeine free. :-)
I've managed to maintain my Starbucks Gold card membership in only a matter of weeks into 2018. #goals
- Everybody here has the flu.
I've also been sick as a dog for the past week, which isn't great, but hey, it's New York and the weather here is insane, so I'm not really surprised.
- Heaven = Delivery
I've managed to pick up my old habit of ordering Seamless at least once a week ... also Domino's Pizza is my new best friend (no cheese, GF, lots of veggies, no butter on the crust = every vegan's happiest dream).
And most importantly, every day I see at least one reminder as to why I chose to be here - a remark during a lecture, a song I hear on the street, even a small conversation or interaction with a stranger or new friend.
Today was no exception.
SIDE NOTE: My roommates and I have been struggling with the lock on our door for weeks. It's not that we can't open the door, but sometimes the key gets stuck and when you try to pull it from the lock, it literally spins in the door (what?!?!). Think of that moment from The Exorcist when her head spins, but only it's the lock on my door. Scary in different ways, I assure you.
So today I got back from the laundromat and opened the door only to find my key hot glued to the inside of a spinning lock - I was less than surprised. I rolled my eyes, set down my laundry basket, and started to simultaneously pray and pry at the lock. Then my neighbor appeared - an older/middle-aged African American man who mumbles when he speaks and always walks hunched over. His English isn't the best, and I think he speaks French? But my French is pretty awful these days. (Je suis desolee, Madame Brightwell!) Anyway, we always smile & wave at each other, but don't really converse. Today, he looks at the lock, gestures for me to "Hold on," and disappears into his apartment. He returns with a small drill & gestures to see if I'll let him help.
What I did say:
"Oh, that's alright. I don't want to mess up the lock, but thank you so much."
What I didn't say:
"No worries - I'll sit here like an idiot spinning this key until the doorknob decides to release my key chain because I don't want to inconvenience you and I have a serious problem asking for help. No big deal, sir. Thank you anyway."
But what I made out from his response was "Oh, this is what I do," so I decided the lock was already pretty messed up, so why the hell not. I shrugged, stepped back into the hallway, and gestured for him to give it a go.
Guys, in less than 10 seconds he had moved a screw around, released my key, tightened that screw again (a little tighter than before) and voila! No more Exorcist-style lock! Woo-who! He even gave it a few practice turns to make sure.
While I am thankful beyond measure for this kind gesture, the moment that struck me most was what he said immediately afterwards. I exclaimed my thanks, and he kind of went back-and-forth between English and what I think is French, and said something that sounded like "construction." I said, "Oh! You worked in construction?" and he eagerly nodded and exclaimed, "Yes! I did." The look of excitement and pride on his face talking about what he was capable of and attempting to share with me a bit of his history was so beautiful and gratifying.
He reminded me of why I'm here (and if you want to get all existential, why I think we're ALL here):
*To grow and share our gifts to bring positive change.*
He was able to be proud of a simple yet meaningful (to me and my roommates especially!) job well done because it was part of a gift that he had honed and excelled at during his life & career. He saw a problem that he could fix & was able to fix it.
Isn't that what we all hope to do with our lives? See something that needs fixing and have an ability to fix it?
I think the same thing about my journey through acting school. I want to craft & hone my skills as a performer to give to others the kinds of experiences and revelations that I've received from theatre. Art is something that is critical because it is an expression - a release of feelings of some sort. It's a way to feel heard and a way to feel connected to people we might not actually ever know in any other capacity. I feel so much of what is missing in lives today is authentic connections, which is why so many people feel stunted or unheard in their views. The result? We get angry. We get judgmental.
Well, I want to change that, and using one of my small gifts might help do that in some big way.
So that's my learning moment for the day, folks.Albeit a seemingly small one, but I am grateful for my neighbors help, I'm grateful to have experienced his joy at making my life better, and I'm grateful for the reminder that we don't have to try so hard to make a difference. Sometimes it's as simple as looking around and seeing a small problem that we know how to fix.
Love always,
Margot
- I started school. Holy cow, it's amazing, and the people in my cohort are all incredible. I've never attached myself to a group so quickly.
- I got another job.
Woo! Make that money.
- I signed a lease for an apartment.
With 2 AMAZING ladies. I move in the next few weeks. The apartment is a dream. I can't wait.
- I updated my headshots.
Shirin Tinati is the best around. She has provided photographic proof that brunettes can have just as much fun as blondes. Check her out: http://www.shirintinati.com/
- Friends!
I've been able to catch-up with so many amazing people over the past few weeks! Lots of adult beverages and brunches. Lol. So glad to share this city with so many people I care about.
- ALL. THE. BLACK. CLOTHES. (aka My mother's greatest dream.)
I've worn more black clothes in consecutive days than I can ever remember doing in my life. Ever. This is a big deal, guys. I already liked black clothes, but now that I have to wear them a lot for school, I feel the need for bright, bright colors! Haha. #peoplechange
- Coffee. But still caffeine free. :-)
I've managed to maintain my Starbucks Gold card membership in only a matter of weeks into 2018. #goals
- Everybody here has the flu.
I've also been sick as a dog for the past week, which isn't great, but hey, it's New York and the weather here is insane, so I'm not really surprised.
- Heaven = Delivery
I've managed to pick up my old habit of ordering Seamless at least once a week ... also Domino's Pizza is my new best friend (no cheese, GF, lots of veggies, no butter on the crust = every vegan's happiest dream).
And most importantly, every day I see at least one reminder as to why I chose to be here - a remark during a lecture, a song I hear on the street, even a small conversation or interaction with a stranger or new friend.
Today was no exception.
SIDE NOTE: My roommates and I have been struggling with the lock on our door for weeks. It's not that we can't open the door, but sometimes the key gets stuck and when you try to pull it from the lock, it literally spins in the door (what?!?!). Think of that moment from The Exorcist when her head spins, but only it's the lock on my door. Scary in different ways, I assure you.
So today I got back from the laundromat and opened the door only to find my key hot glued to the inside of a spinning lock - I was less than surprised. I rolled my eyes, set down my laundry basket, and started to simultaneously pray and pry at the lock. Then my neighbor appeared - an older/middle-aged African American man who mumbles when he speaks and always walks hunched over. His English isn't the best, and I think he speaks French? But my French is pretty awful these days. (Je suis desolee, Madame Brightwell!) Anyway, we always smile & wave at each other, but don't really converse. Today, he looks at the lock, gestures for me to "Hold on," and disappears into his apartment. He returns with a small drill & gestures to see if I'll let him help.
What I did say:
"Oh, that's alright. I don't want to mess up the lock, but thank you so much."
What I didn't say:
"No worries - I'll sit here like an idiot spinning this key until the doorknob decides to release my key chain because I don't want to inconvenience you and I have a serious problem asking for help. No big deal, sir. Thank you anyway."
But what I made out from his response was "Oh, this is what I do," so I decided the lock was already pretty messed up, so why the hell not. I shrugged, stepped back into the hallway, and gestured for him to give it a go.
Guys, in less than 10 seconds he had moved a screw around, released my key, tightened that screw again (a little tighter than before) and voila! No more Exorcist-style lock! Woo-who! He even gave it a few practice turns to make sure.
While I am thankful beyond measure for this kind gesture, the moment that struck me most was what he said immediately afterwards. I exclaimed my thanks, and he kind of went back-and-forth between English and what I think is French, and said something that sounded like "construction." I said, "Oh! You worked in construction?" and he eagerly nodded and exclaimed, "Yes! I did." The look of excitement and pride on his face talking about what he was capable of and attempting to share with me a bit of his history was so beautiful and gratifying.
He reminded me of why I'm here (and if you want to get all existential, why I think we're ALL here):
*To grow and share our gifts to bring positive change.*
He was able to be proud of a simple yet meaningful (to me and my roommates especially!) job well done because it was part of a gift that he had honed and excelled at during his life & career. He saw a problem that he could fix & was able to fix it.
Isn't that what we all hope to do with our lives? See something that needs fixing and have an ability to fix it?
I think the same thing about my journey through acting school. I want to craft & hone my skills as a performer to give to others the kinds of experiences and revelations that I've received from theatre. Art is something that is critical because it is an expression - a release of feelings of some sort. It's a way to feel heard and a way to feel connected to people we might not actually ever know in any other capacity. I feel so much of what is missing in lives today is authentic connections, which is why so many people feel stunted or unheard in their views. The result? We get angry. We get judgmental.
Well, I want to change that, and using one of my small gifts might help do that in some big way.
So that's my learning moment for the day, folks.Albeit a seemingly small one, but I am grateful for my neighbors help, I'm grateful to have experienced his joy at making my life better, and I'm grateful for the reminder that we don't have to try so hard to make a difference. Sometimes it's as simple as looking around and seeing a small problem that we know how to fix.
Love always,
Margot
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